Believing

Waiting, wondering, and some more waiting. I said out loud the other day that God would do something. He has to. I say it, but then I don't always believe it. I don't know what he is up to. We need something to change with our job situation/finances. I have talked to my work about it and they are unable to help in the way I was hoping for. I understand and didn't really expect them to. However, I do find the next few events interesting. On the day I was told that they could not do anything, this was yesterday, I was also told if my contract needed to be modified to help the situation (i.e. ended early) that could be done with out any concequences. About the same time I received a phone call from a resume I sent out a few months back. They were requesting a phone interview with me. Hummm... coincidence? God and His timing? It's an interesting place to be. Right now I am believing that it is God and His timing and we'll see what He does.

Alone

It's not to often that I find myself sitting in the living room in late morning alone. In the background I can hear sweet children contentedly playing school and enjoying babysitting a Bearded Dragon. As I sit here with the back screen open and the refreshing cool crisp air breezing in, I take a deep breath and feel a momentary peace. I slow down and reflect on where I am and all I have been through. The last few years have been a whirlwind. They have been filled with struggles, disappointments, relearning how to do things, reflecting, growing, learning to depend and trust on God, and coming to the end of me. This is all still in process. No where near over. However, right now I can say that in the midst of the difficulties and renewing, I am thankful for the God we have. One that never lets go, never gives up, and is always working things together.

Most the time I want to fast forward to see what He has in store and what the plan is. Yet, there is no fast forward button. I get to allow Him to shed away the learned fast pace of our technological world and focus on Him. Like I said, getting to the end of me and I really struggle. Waiting when you want the answer now. Waiting when you want the situation fixed. Waiting when your just not sure how you are going to make it. Then I remind myself of His promises and that it is not my job to "fix" it. Just my job to rest in Him and step forward when I can. Trusting that he will close or open the doors, that He will give me His desires, and that I will hear his soft quiet deep whisper. Trusting that His timing is better than mine.

Love From,
Lindsay